Saturday, July 3, 2010

Exhausted

Hello everyone :)
I haven't been posting for a long time, right? I thought I quit blogging half a year ago but... maybe I just can't let it go. I'll treat my blog as a diary for now. It's okay, right?

I felt so down today. I felt like I've done something very wrong that I shouldn't do in the first time. I felt like drowning myself into a deep well, or down deep in the sea, or something similar to that. I felt like I've posted 3 sentences starting with 'I felt like' (which I did). Sorry, my brain's in a mess right now. I think that I've made my crush mad, trolling him, and.. stalking him, maybe? I did that, and I'm terribly sorry for it. He won't read his though, so even if I posted thousands of apologies here he won't read it. My brain kept sending me false alarms about his affection to me. The longer I think about it, the more I realize that, being together is impossible at any chance given. I've wasted my time and tears thinking about it. He has someone beside him already, so why bother try? My mind's been telling me to confess, but that's just the same with suicide. I won't risk that relationship I have with him(and I think I'm destroying it now). I kept telling myself, he's faaar away from you. You're like the Icarus who wants to soar high to the sun. You'll fell, and without doubt, break many things. So, should I move forward? -sighs- Love problems are all confusing. They are essential in life, yet they cause many problems to rise. I need to refresh my mind. With what? Everything seems so dull right now. -more sighs-

Well maybe that's all. Thanks for the ones who read, even though this blog has become soo quiet.

2 comments:

NDR008 said...

Hey, I too started to go to my blog for some comfort in sad moments...

It is like screaming out for help in a silent voice where you are not actively asking anyone specifically to pity you.

And I have so been there, going after a person who I thought was giving me signals of wanting me as much in the same way, until one day being honest and it all came crashing in.

Blue Mist said...

Yeah, true. Especially when you got no friend to talk to, your blog is the solution to it. At least we got something to pour our heart in to.